Everyday Life: A British Immigrant’s Guide to the Wonderfully Weird World of Polish Living 🌍🇵🇱
The Magical Mystery of Polish Addresses 🏠🔍
Let’s start with something that’ll drive your British brain into a quiet panic: the Polish address system. Yes, it’s entirely possible – and in no way unusual – for two houses on the same street to have the same number. That’s because in Poland, addresses can refer either to the plot of land or to the building, and sometimes to both… or neither… or the past. No one really knows. GPS often throws in the towel entirely.
“Oh, you’re at number 12?”
“Yes, but not the first number 12. The other one. Next to the Żabka.”
👉 More on Polish address quirks
Ketchup on What Now? 🍕🍟
Let’s talk about food. Or more specifically, let’s talk about the Polish obsession with ketchup. Ketchup on pizza? Normal. Ketchup on pierogi? Not unheard of. Ketchup as a salad dressing? Entirely possible.
And if you think the sauce stops there, wait until you discover garlic sauce (sos czosnkowy), the lifeblood of Polish takeaways. It comes with everything:
- 🍟 Order chips? You’ll get garlic sauce.
- 🌯 A kebab? Garlic sauce.
- 🥗 A salad? You guessed it – garlic sauce.
It’s a miracle Poles don’t sweat garlic. (Maybe they do.)
And let’s not even get started on Polish jelly meat (galareta). It’s pork. In jelly. Served cold. With vinegar. It’s… a choice.
Lidl’s Legendary British Week 🇬🇧🛒
Every so often, the good people at Lidl grace us with a magical moment: British Week. It’s a surreal experience for any homesick Brit. Suddenly, you’re in a Polish supermarket surrounded by Union Jacks, dodgy Cornish pasties, and tins of beans costing more than your weekly rent.
Locals wander the aisles, picking up custard creams with the reverence usually reserved for fine wine, while you clutch a pack of Cheddar slices like they’re made of gold.
Top tip: stock up. It’ll be months before you see a scotch egg again.
Queues: Not for the Faint-Hearted ⏳💪
Brits, take note: queuing in Poland is a contact sport. There is a queue. It’s just invisible. No neat line. No quiet tutting. Just a vague huddle of people all somehow knowing who was first and who’s trying to sneak in. You must ask, “Kto jest ostatni?” (Who is last?) and then defend your position with your life.
Forget that, and you’re back at the end – possibly in a different decade.
The Sunday Shutdown 🛑🛒
In Poland, Sunday is sacred. Not just in the religious sense – although yes, there are plenty of churches – but in the “you shall not shop” sense. Most shops are closed. Malls? Shut. Supermarkets? Forget it. Unless it’s one of the designated shopping Sundays, which seem to be chosen by rolling dice and consulting the stars.
On the bright side, you’ll find entire families walking in the park, feeding ducks, or queuing at the only open Żabka (the corner shop that never sleeps).
The Coat Police 🧥👮♀️
It doesn’t matter if it’s 12°C and sunny. If it’s not officially spring, and you’re outside without a coat, a Polish grandma (babcia) will tell you off. Loudly. Possibly while offering you a vitamin C tablet and some chicken broth.
Soup Happens 🍲🍴
In Poland, soup isn’t a starter. It’s a way of life. Every meal starts with soup. Even breakfast sometimes. And there’s a soup for every occasion:
- 🤧 Feeling sick? Rosół (chicken broth)
- 🐣 Celebrating Easter? Żurek (sour rye soup with sausage)
- 😎 Feeling adventurous? Flaki (tripe soup – yes, really)
Soup is sacred. Soup is comfort. Soup is mandatory.
Vodka Etiquette 101 🥂🍸
Having a drink in Poland? You’d better raise your glass properly. That means making eye contact during the toast, saying “Na zdrowie!” with conviction, and downing that vodka in one clean shot – no British-style sipping. Anything less is considered deeply suspicious. Maybe even rude. (They’ll forgive you. Once.)
Forms, Forms, Forms 📝🔄
Poland loves a good formularz (form). Want to do anything official? Get ready to fill in forms in triplicate, queue at the urząd (government office), and possibly speak to three different people who all tell you something different. It’s like a quest – but with stamps.
Top tip: bring a Polish friend, snacks, and a calm spirit.
Żabka: The True MVP 🐸🛍️
Last but not least: Żabka. The unassuming green frog logo you’ll see on every street corner. It’s part corner shop, part deli, part lifesaver. Open when everything else is closed. Stocked with beer, milk, sandwiches, crisps, and at least 50 types of energy drink.
Need breakfast? Żabka.
Need to pay a bill? Żabka.
Need to buy a phone charger, loaf of bread, novelty socks, and a latte at 9pm on a Sunday? Żabka’s got you.
It’s not just a shop. It’s a lifestyle. A spiritual companion. A way of life. Some immigrants develop a deeper relationship with their local Żabka than with their own families.
Taxi Drivers: The True Grit of Poland 🚖💨
Getting in a taxi in Poland is like stepping into a high-speed chase, only there’s no one chasing you, and you’re just trying to get to the supermarket. Polish taxi drivers drive like they’ve got a deadline to meet in another dimension. You may experience moments where your heart jumps into your throat as they take that corner a little too quickly, or you’ll be gently reminded that seat belts are optional.
But don’t worry – the ubiquitous Polish taxi driver is a national treasure. They know the shortcuts, and you’ll always get there in record time. Whether or not it’s the right time, well, that’s another matter.
The Polish DIY Revolution 🔨🏠
Poles are incredibly DIY-savvy. In fact, they take it to an entirely new level. You’ll see people on the side of the road fixing their own cars, building their own fences, and even redoing their bathrooms with nothing more than a hammer and a roll of duct tape. The idea of calling someone to fix a leaky tap is unheard of. Need a new shelf? Go to the hardware store, buy 10 power tools, and start hammering away.
🔨 Top tip: You’ll need a good, sturdy drill to blend in. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to use it. Everyone else doesn’t either.
The Endless Search for the Perfect Pierogi 🥟🔍
If you’re a fan of pierogi (and who isn’t?), get ready for a lifelong quest: finding the best pierogi. This is a matter of deep cultural importance in Poland, where every babcia thinks their pierogi recipe is the best. And they’re all right. From classic ruskie (potato and cheese) to the sweet ones stuffed with fruit, Poland has an endless variety, and they’ll all call to you from the nearest restaurant.
- 🥟 “Best pierogi” can only be determined by your babcia’s opinion.
- 🍒 Raspberry pierogi? A magical treat.
- 🥔 Cheese and potato pierogi? A Polish comfort food you’ll dream about.
But be warned: your search for the best pierogi may take you deep into the Polish countryside, through misty forests, over snowy mountains… and into several restaurants that may not quite meet your expectations. But you’ll get there eventually.
The Mysterious Allure of Polish Trains 🚆🛤️
Taking a train in Poland is an adventure. They’re not the most punctual, the windows don’t always open, and there’s a chance the conductor will ask to see your ticket… even though you’re still on the platform. The kolej system might be a little chaotic, but there’s a certain charm to it. You’ll witness whole families making sandwiches on the train, while others attempt to get on with their lives as if they’re not surrounded by 12 types of sausage.
🚆 Top tip: Don’t sit near the doors unless you like the constant stream of fresh air… and the smell of kebab.
The Polish Obsession with Weather Forecasts 🌦️⛅
Weather in Poland? Oh, it’s a big deal. You’ll be part of daily conversations about the forecast, which will be updated approximately every 5 minutes. “Jutro będzie słonecznie, ale nie za ciepło!” (Tomorrow will be sunny, but not too warm!) Polish people know exactly how to predict rain, snow, and a sudden cold front with a level of precision that would make meteorologists jealous.
- 🌨️ It might snow in the middle of April, and you’ll hear about it 6 times before it happens.
- ☀️ Don’t even think about not wearing a jacket in September.
- 🌬️ In winter, the weather forecast might just include the words “cold wind from Siberia,” and that’s all you’ll get.
The obsession goes as far as checking the forecast every few hours just to reassure yourself that the coming storm won’t ruin your weekend plans.
Becoming One of Them 🇵🇱💖
Sure, life in Poland can feel a bit upside down at first. There are weird traditions, confusing systems, and culinary choices that defy logic. But give it time, and all those quirks become the comforts.
You’ll find yourself craving zurek on a chilly day. You’ll proudly defend your position in the phantom queue. You’ll mutter “no i co?” under your breath with just the right level of Polish exasperation.
You might even start putting ketchup on your pizza. (You monster.)
And one day, without realising it, you’ll wake up and think, “Ah yes. This is home now.” 🌟🏡
Also read: Poland – Traditions & Customs
